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Metropolitan Operas
Author(s):
Joe Pintauro
THE STORIES: PART I: SEYMOUR IN THE VERY HEART OF WINTER. It’s Christmas Eve; Viv, a fading actress, is reminiscing about her ex-husband and her life before, to Bob, the man who currently loves her. With a fancy restaurant as her stage, Viv rants about her past, as Bob must find a way to pull her back to reality if he is to save their love. (2 men, 1 woman). SWANS FLYING. Ben, a patient in a hospital, hears the sound of swans flying, though his nurse hears nothing. When Ben drifts off to sleep, he is visited by Eddie, who holds his hand and waits for any words of hope. (2 men, 1 woman). ROSEN’S SON. Mr. Rosen unexpectedly shows up at his dead son’s lover home to comfort him as well as himself. Finding him with a new man, he is enraged, until the tears of his son’s lover compensate for his own. (3 men). BENJAMIN FALLING. From his hospital bed, Benjamin envisions his own death--he jumps from a plane into a bright blue ocean. But his fantasies are eroded when the word of his lover berates him back into a reality where he can cling to life. (1 man). TWO ECLAIRS. Three can live as cheaply as one until Maude can’t take her little sister, Beth, living with her and her husband Mark. When Mark balks, however, light shines on a devastated Maude. She moves out and Beth takes over her role--as she’d been doing for some time. (1 man, 2 women). BIRDS IN CHURCH. Two priests attempt to catch exotic birds flying in the sanctuary. While debating whether these creatures are sent from God or even represent him, they find the note that asks that someone find these pets a good home. (2 men). REX. Jenn hit a pheasant with her car and cannot clear her conscience of the accident. Naming the dead bird Rex, she cooks it and serves it to her husband Eric, hoping this gesture will return Rex to the natural order of nature. Eric, however, cries foul. (1man, 1 woman). DIRTY TALK. In a rural bar a sexy young woman causes a stir with the locals. When the bar closes, she stays behind with the bartender, does her best to get him aroused, then reveals she is his son, changed, but back for revenge on a neglectful father. (2 men, 1 woman). CHARLIE’S FAREWELL. A priest leads a congregation--perhaps only of one--in appreciating life after one of the congregants is taken from their midst. (2 men). MEN WITHOUT WIVES. Pop visits his son, Boomer, to attempt to console him on the recent death of his wife. The two are very different and resentments flare, even getting the better of them. The common bond between them, the deaths of each of their wives, brings them closer together, if only temporarily. (2 men). PARAKEET EULOGY. When we fail to find God in our everyday lives, can we declare ourselves God over smaller creatures if we care for them always? (1 man). EASTER NIGHT. When Kristen’s mother dies, she comes home to her father and his friends. Their differing ways of mourning affects them all, as Kristen unleashes her anger. Boomer, her father, defends himself, through his own anger and grief, and only after they are all spent, does Kristen find the magic of her mother return to her. (2 men, 2 women). FIAT. Ken is a hairdresser who wants to commit suicide in his salon. When a flamboyant Latino Madonna enters the salon and disrupts his plans, he puts it off--until he realizes she is there to escort him to the other side he seeks. (1 man, 1 woman). PART II: LIGHTNING. A woman sits alone, outside, during a violent rainstorm. When it passes, her young daughter retrieves her, praising the Lord her mother is alright. The woman had again challenged God, and he spared her. (1 woman, 1 girl). BIRD OF ILL OMEN. Doreen, a prostitute, is visited by a mysterious older friend who can’t speak, but has something important to tell her. Upon his revelation, that he is terminally ill, Doreen tries to hide her emotions with her anger. (1 man, 1 woman). RULES OF LOVE. A woman goes to confession seemingly to be absolved for the sin of having a sexual relationship with a priest. Her confessor is her lover, and to his dismay, she gives him the ultimatum of her love or God’s. (1 man, 1 woman). LENTEN PUDDING. For the first time, Ency has neglected to bake the annual Lenten puddings for her family. Her niece, Megan, attempts to pry the recipe from her stubborn aunt, and when talk of the family’s history surfaces, the recipe Megan held so dear might not be that important after all. (2 woman). TEN DOLLAR DRINKS. Star, a recent Oscar winning actress, has reluctantly agreed to meet her old acting friend Bete for a drink. Star knows her old friend is jealous of her success, and through the torturous afternoon, makes her confess it. (2 women). FROZEN DOG. Vinny and Kevin, two Catholic priests, have just had a spat. Vinny, has just found out that Kevin had asked to be stationed with him for the last ten years, and feels his goals have been compromised. But love between friends is strong, and may have leanings they both now discover. (2 men). SOFT DUDE. Doll is a prostitute who has a problem with her boyfriend, Dude; he can’t have sex with her, but he can pay for it with other prostitutes. Afraid he’ll lose her, Dude makes chicken for dinner in an awkward attempt to get close with her--for all he really wants is to hold her hand. (1 men, 1 woman). WATCHMAN OF THE NIGHT. Mike returns home in a bad state; he’s been drinking after he and his girlfriend had a fight. She’s left many messages on his answering machine and when the phone rings he refuses to answer it, until he hears the message of a male caller, a wrong number, that may change the way he thinks about love. (2 men, 1 woman). UNCLE CHICK. Brian pays a surprise visit to his distraught Uncle Chick, who is packing up the belongings of his deceased lover. Brian reveals to his uncle that he’s gay, just like him, and Chick warns him against living a gay life. But through the bitterness he hears, Brian ultimately seeks to console Uncle Chick with a warm embrace. (2 men). HIS DISH. James and Edna are newlyweds who visit William, James’ brother, at his country home. After a king’s breakfast made by the adoring Edna, James leaves the table for a moment. Then William tells her she married a man she didn’t know. When James returns, the evidence surfaces and Edna escapes. (2 men, 1 woman). BUTTERBALL. The table is set for a feast, only the meal served is human and the family members are turkeys, or mostly so. This family of humans has turned into turkeys--by various political factors and maybe a few genetic mishaps, as the traditional Thanksgiving dinner takes a twisted turn. (2 men, 3 women). HOUSE MADE OF AIR. Matilda Neruda, wife of the famous poet, tells of the last few days of the life of Pablo Neruda. A haunting memoir to the world. (1 woman). FUR HAT. Janet is to give a lecture at a University. As she goes over her notes in the cafeteria, her ex-husband, Don, a professor, unintentionally sits down at the same table. Their hatred and resentment for each other surfaces in their conversation, and comes to a head when she almost leaves her fur hat at the table and he at first refuses to give it back. (1 man, 1 woman). BUS STOP DINER. Martin has watched the dress rehearsal of his play and is stunned by how bad it is. When he tries to dissuade the producer/director from opening, he is surprised again at the reason for its production, and is hilariously and lovingly persuaded to help fix it before opening night. (3 men).
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| Genre(s): | Comedy
Drama
| | Time Period(s): | Not Available | | Play Type: | Play | | Runtime: | Not Available | | Acts: | Not Available | | Set Complexity: | Not Available | | Set Information: | Not Available | | Year First Published: | Not Available | | Total Characters: | Not Available | | Male Characters: | Not Available | | Female Characters: | Not Available | | Androgynous Characters: | Not Available | | Minimum Cast: | Not Available | | Maximum Cast: | Not Available | | Cost: | FEE: $20 per performance for each play; negotiable for multiple titles
Royalty/cost information prone to change.
Please check with the publisher for the most accurate information. | | Publisher: | Dramatists Play Service
Click on the publisher's name above for additional information, including updated prices. | | ISBN: | Not Available |
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